Changes

So I am the type of person who feels the need to rationalize everything, I like to have answers and know why things happen. This past week has been exceptionally trying for me. Sleeping has become a luxury so I have had alot of time to reflect. In the past year I have gone through many changes, and some of them have been in a real short time. I got married, moved twice, new jobs, new church, and pretty much any circle of friends I had a year ago are all in different circles now. Anything that I knew to be solid and stable is pretty much not anymore. I am not in a bad place or anything, it is just I feel like I am leading a completely different life now than I did even just one year ago. It is alot to adjust to in such a short amount of time....especially for me. I like change, but too much change throws me through a loop. I think this week it is kind of all hitting me all at once. With my new job I have a different routine now, I no longer leave the house at 7:20am and return at 3pm....Now I leave at 6:25am, return by 9am, then leave again about 1:30pm and return home by 6pm. I love my jobs, but I do feel like I have a little more down time than normal. I dropped my classes for the semester because they were getting a little overwhelming, so now I really have alot of time. When I have time, I think....but for me my thinking often turns to worry and I become anxious, and this week my anxiousness has become very physical and it is wearing me down.
I miss my church family from EBC like crazy, I feel like my ties have been severed and I will never have the close relationships with people there that I used to. I miss my old job...well, I miss the aspect of working with kids and some of the teachers. Marriage has been nothing short of awesome and is a change that I have gladly accepted and embraced, but being the non social type person that I am, I am having a hard time getting myself into my new church family and forming relations with those I see on a daily basis.
I pray consistently that God fill all this free time I have with a child....I know it will happen in God's time, but a thought that I keep having is "I wouldn't be so bored if I had a kid right now". I realize having children is completely different ball game, my it is something that both Tim and I desire to be a part of. God could very well be preparing us, it is my prayer that He does.
I talked to my sister-in-law tonight....I like it when we talk, e mails and text messages are nice but not as personal. I love that she listens to me, passes zero judgement, tells me what she thinks, and truly cares. I don't open up to many people so when the opportunity presents itself it makes my heart very glad.
The Red Sox are making me upset right now! Come on boys....Kick some Ray butt!!!!