Understanding Circumstances

I am wide awake at 11pm...tomorrow is Monday, this is not good. My mind is racing with all sorts of things...work, relationships, trying to understand circumstances beyond my control. What do I do with these thoughts so that I can sleep soundly? Pray. And then pray some more. I am ashamed that there was a time that I was ashamed of my faith....afraid of what others thought of me---so stupid to even let my mind wander down that road. I am grateful for the God I serve and love. It is because of Him that I am blessed with so many great people, relationships, and circumstances. I can search for answers all I want, but I have to rely that God will see me through it all....good, bad, and ugly. I can't imagine a life without God....not quite sure how others do it. I had a great conversation this weekend sharing our awe of how God allows things to happen and brings us through it. He has a purpose for it all, even when we don't see it at that moment. The post below this one is a great story of how God plans every step I take--yes, I have a free will and am able to make my own decisions, but He guides me to where He wants me to be.
I just found this poem online...totally gonna frame it

When I Say "I Am A Christian"

by Carol Wimmer

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.