A Little Chuckle

It was once said that a black man would be president "when pigs fly" indeed 100 days into Obama's presidency...... Swine flu.

Positive Thoughts

I have so much to be thankful for. I haven't been the most patient concerning the things that I want now, I have taken for granted all the blessing the Lord has given me. In the midst of these economic times I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food on the table, and a job that pays well and I absolutely love it. I have a husband who is wise, patient, and loves me. I have a family that is all healthy and is all on speaking terms. I am healthy. I have a church family who prays for me and loves me....
counting my blessings

It Came To Pass...

This past week was...different, but not bad different, kind of interesting-yet-slightly-depressing-but-good different. Kind of impartial to the happenings, but happy and ticked off all at the same time. The week started off with my foot in my mouth and being real over emotional, couldn't get out out of my own way for a couple days...yet I busted a serious move on getting all my final projects and papers done for my classes that end TODAY! Then when my foot came out of my mouth, things looked up. My thoughts still overwhelming, but happy that I was able to channel them. Friday I went to the Dr because I have been having heart palpitations since December. But they did go away the whole week we were in FL for Christmas, it was relaxing so I attributed it to anxiety. They have been varying in intensity and length...one night it lasted over an hour. I do notice that when I focus my attention on something outside of my heart pounding, it eases. I was wary about going to the Dr because I knew she was going to be quick to put me back on my meds. I have been off them for over a year, and I praise God for that. In addition to writing my prescription, she ordered a bunch of blood work and 24 hours on a heart monitor. Talk about anxiety provoking...I have to wait til the middle of may for that, and then another two weeks for the results....meds aren't sounding so bad at this point. She is assessing my cardiac risk, which a piece of my really doesn't want to know what my risk is. Heart problems run rampant on my mom's side of the family, and are visible on my dad's side as well. But being that I am young, early detection is key I suppose. I kind of didn't want to see this past week end. This coming week is spring break from work, and that is good and all, but it always reminds me how close we are getting to the end of the school year. I love summer, but hate the whole having to find a summer job and not being in my "normal" school year routine. I hate leaving the kids for two months, I always ball on the last day. It has been up in the air the past month if we were going to move into another apartment. We have been less than satisfied with where we are at, and I do not like being on the ground floor. We applied to couple of places and it seems as though God wants us to stay put. I can deal with not packing up and having to move, but God is going to have to give me some serious grace to get through another winter in our dungeon. I have no idea what i am going to do with myself this week. I start new classes online, so they are usually pretty tame the first week and no real assignments are due yet. I have been working diligently at weeding through all the stuff that Tim and I have in storage....I have a pile in the living room and spare room that has to go back in storage, and tons of boxes and bags that are ready to be donated. I am pretty proud of myself since I got rid of over half of the stuff in our storage unit. I said all that to say, I came across this poem and it is awesome. It is gentle reminder of God's promise to never give us more than we can handle. Many times in His word He says "It came to pass...." It didn't come to stay...AMEN!!!

This Too Shall Pass
By Helen Steiner Rice

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be-

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me-

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too-

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains

That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear-
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

Bow the Knee

feeling a bit reflective today...this is an awesome song. Not sure why they use the twin towers as the thumbnail for it...

Life Is Precious

"Life is Precious" has kind of been my mantra since my accident back in 2004. I just finished up my poetry class and the title of my portfolio is just that, Life is Precious. But I had no piece of writing that went along that theme, so I wrote this pretty much off the cuff last weekend. I think it turned out pretty well :)

Life is Precious

Straying off the path
Of what I know
Is right
Taking advantage
Of all I can
Thinking I am who I desire
But feeling cold

Trying to get
My heart where it belongs
Not willing to give up
The things that satisfy

A snowy white out
On an unfamiliar road
Twist and turn
Through shadows
I've never seen

Steering left
I loose control
There is nothing
I can do
To make it stop

A mind of it own
Controlled by nature
The car spins
Glides between
A tree and pole
It rolls...
And rolls

While in mid flight
I scream
I fear this is the end

Finally a landing
Seems like hours
Have passed
I can still see
The spinning of the view
Out my winshield

On four wheels
I open the door
And walk out
No idea where I am

A stranger sees me
Helps me make the call
I'm shaking
But Okay

The scene is cleared
The memory vivid
It repeats
Over...
And over

I reflect how
Luck I am
To be alive
And how sorry
It came to this
To get my attention
To see the err
Of my ways

Life is Precious
I am thankful
For every moment

A Change in My Life

I have to share this song, it has quickly become one of my favorites. The group that I like that sings it is The Singing Penguins, but I could not find them on YouTube...these guys will do.

My Church Family

I just went to Amy and Brian's wedding shower. It is a sure sign that God has a plan for all of us even when we can't see it at that moment. Brian will always be my first boyfriend, and at one point we thought we would be together forever...but God had a different plan for both of us, something better. Anyway, that is not where I was going with this. At the shower today I got to talk to many dear friends that I have not seen in a while. Leaving EBC after getting married was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do, but again, I had to follow my husband and do as God was telling him to do. Being there today just made me reflective of how much I miss EBC and these people that I once called my church family. I am in a poetry writing class right now and felt inspired, so here is what I wrote.....

My Church Family
By Amanda M. Boutchia

I once had this family
Who stood outside the realm
Of my own
They watched me grow
Seven to twenty-seven

They showed me how to walk
And held my hand
Until I let go
And even then...
They stood all around me
In case I fell

The many times I fell
They got on their knees too
Then showed me how
To get up again

Life brings
Many season of change
With "I Do"
And a humble band of gold
I had to leave my family
And become part of another

I still have a family
Whose goals are the same
But I miss the ones
Who watched me grow
To what I am today

A message to a former friend

Your Mask

By Amanda M. Boutchia

I have to let you go

Until you remove your mask

Your mask is not secret

More than you know

Can see it too

At first you just covered your eyes

You lost sight

Of who you were

Then you covered your ears

And stopped listening

To those who know better

Now your mouth is covered

You only talk to those

Who wear your mask

Only they

Know your language

Your nose is exposed

You need it to smell

The parties, alcohol,

And bad influences.

You have began

To construct your costume

With the part over your heart

Complete

It is only a matter of time

Before no one will know you

I don’t wear your mask

Don’t try and make

One for me

You won’t find me

I let you go