Just because I'm not a mom...

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I have extra time on my hands 

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I have excess money

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding how hard raising children can be

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I do not know how to nurture

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I'm ignorant to how kids can be

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I don't like children

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't make my family any less than yours

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean my life with my husband is one continuous date night

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I'm obligated to say yes to every asked favor

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean my life is easier

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I'm judging everyone else's parenting skills

Just because I'm not a mom doesn't mean I don't want to be one

Mudflats...step by step

These amazing little desserts are so easy to make and are always a crowd pleaser. Here is a step by step guide on how to make them. You will need...

*1 package of saltine crackers *1 bag of chocolate chips *2 sticks of butter *1 cup of sugar Preheat oven to 350

Line a cookie sheet with tin foil

Line crackers side by side on the cookie sheet

melt two sticks of butter

once the butter is melted, add 1 cup of sugar and stir on medium heat until melted

pour mixture on to crackers

spread out evenly

put in oven and cook for 7 minutes

take out of the oven and immediately pour entire bag of chocolate chips on top

let chips melt for one minute then spread evenly using a fork or spoon

put into refrigerator and cool completely until chocolate has hardened

when cooled, take out of the fridge and cut guide lines with a knife or pizza cutter...you do not have to cut through entire cracker.

lift off cookie sheet and peel back tin foil as you break apart.

put in container and enjoy :) Best if kept in fridge when not consuming :)

Test

This post is a test..

DSP

It's been a while since I have posted...
Kind of a big event is going on this weekend. The family that I work for nominated me, back in the spring, for Direct Support Professional of the year for my region (there are 10 regions in the state). Well, there were 80 nominations for the region and I was one of 15 chosen to be recognized at an awards brunch back in June....it was a good day.
I got a call the first week of September that the agency i work for chose my nomination to represent the region at the state Direct Support Professional of year, which is to be held this coming friday evening. This event is much more of a big deal because they actually choose a "winner" as opposed to the recognition that was given to 15 of us back in June. I am still wrapping my head around all of this...the family I work for sent in the nomination and how the agency chose mine to be the one among the 80 that were sent in is beyond me. I have only been doing this DSP thing for just over a year. I sat in the very awards banquet last October and I was in awe of the DSPs that were nominated then and felt so inadequate. I guess it pushed me to strive to be better and educate myself, but I never thought that one year later I would be among the top ten in the state.
A few weeks ago was DSP appreciation day, and there was a little shin dig on the lawn of the State House, it was there that the nominations were made official.

Photo Shoot For Dad & Kristie's 10th Anniv.

Pass It On

This song was sung at church recently and it brought tears to my eyes....
This is for all those who I want to pass God's love to.


Pass It On

It only takes a spark to get a fire going.
And soon all those around, can warm up in glowing.
That's how it is with God's love,
Once you've experienced it, you spread His love to everyone;
You want to pass it on.

What a wondrous time is spring, when all the trees are budding;
The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming.
That's how it is with God's love;
Once you've experienced it, you want to sing
"It's fresh like spring"; you want to pass it on.

I wish for you my friend, this happiness that I've found.
You can depend on Him, it matters not where you're bound.
I'll shout it from the mountain top - PRAISE GOD
I want the world to know; the Lord of love has come to me,
I want to pass it on.

In this case, it's better not to ask

Ok people I'm getting on my soap box....I understand that the natural progression after getting married is to have kids. And, when 2 1/2 years pass it is only natural to wonder if kids are in the plan. But please stop and think before asking "when are you gonna have kids?" or "are you pregnant yet?" It's possible that the person on the receiving end of those questions gets emotional after explaining over and over again. Just because they aren't having children doesn't mean they don't want them and pain they feel by the fact that they are having a hard time cannot be understood unless you've been there. Pray instead...that's probably what they are doing.
Off my soap box now :)

Waiting...

It's been a trying few days. I think I spent the majority of the weekend in tears. Saturday afternoon I had to reopen some old wounds, but this time I am pretty sure it will lead to a final healing of the matter...so in the end they were tears of relief. I found myself welling up at the oddest times, probably no real reason. Women have that perogative and I chose to exercize it. Monday I took a mental health day off from work and it worked that I got my afternoon off as well.
Ok now what...still haven't quite processed all that went on this weekend. Time will heal the wounds.
I also have had that "what if" feeling for about a week...the maybe I am prego this time. As much as I want to run and get a prego test, I don't trust those mass produced over the counter tests anymore--they gave me a false positive a couple months ago and for someone who has been trying for so long, it wad a hard pill to swallow. So, I wait.

Thank You Lord...

Much to be thankful for....
I have gone through something of a funk since Christmas--winter blues I guess. I do have many things to be thankful for. First, my salvation and the grace and mercy God has granted me and the eternal home in Heaven that awaits me regardless of my works on earth. My husband--don't deserve his love or patient quiet spirit, but God has blessed me with the best man out there for me, I love him so much. My church family--it has been an adjustment being back at EBC, even though I was in another church of like faith during the year and a half away from EBC, it has been difficult to pick up those relationships where they were left off, but I see God beginning to do a work. I praise God for the ministries he has put me in working with kids, who truly are a passion of mine. My family, dysfunction and all, I am where I need to be. I am so thankful for the family that I have married into, I don't think I could have hand picked better sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews...and of course father and mother-in-law. My jobs--I can say my work is truly something I love to do. I may have to work long hours, but every moment I work is a moment I am making a difference, I wouldn't trade it for anything. My jobs have brought wonderful relationships as well, and I can't imagine life without some of these blessed souls. My home--God provided the means for us to purchase a condo this year and it is so awesome to have a place to call our own. Trials--I am thankful for each trial God allows me to go though. I may not see it at that moment, but looking back each instance has made me a stronger person and I am able to use it to honor and glorify God. I am not alone--I often have the thoughts that I am alone, no one cares, and I don't want to bother others with my issues. That couldn't be further from the truth. God has placed amazing people in my path, I don't deserve any of them, but I need to utilize them the way God wants me too before its too late and they are no longer there. Anxiety--Praise God bouts of anxiousness seem to be dwindling down.
Thank you Lord for everything....it is because of You that I have life and purpose, I will continue to keep that as my reason for living.

I took a "mental health" day today...in a bit of a funk.

Woa!!!! I can blog from my iPod...sweet :)

Sweet Memories

These are pictures from my freshman year at BBC (1999-2000), and my awesome roomie Heather! The first one is our final moment as roomates, freshman year coming to an end. Miss you tons Heather!!!
Man I had a baby face then!

Winter Blues

Its always inevitable....I dunno, a piece of me thought I would be able to bypass the winter blues this year. There has been alot of positive aspects and many just within the past month. But leave it to me to be down when there are nothing but blessings surrounding me. I am hoping that since this mini depression arrived earlier than normal, maybe the remainder of the winter will be more upbeat. It could just be the time off I have had, so I am alone with my thoughts more than normal. Christmas was great, but I was emotional. Even though my Grampie has been gone for three years now, and this is our 4th Christmas were he has not been present, it still hit hard when we were all gathered together and Grampie was not there....I stared at his picture on the mantel numerous times that day.
Tim's family is scattered in different parts of the country and I kept feeling like something was missing Christmas day when we were together with his family. I am looking forward to our couple weeks away this summer when we can spend time with his brother and family who don't live in the area. I have the best brothers and sisters in laws, and the greatest nieces and nephews an auntie can ask for.
I am praying to get through this winter without going back on my medication. The Lord graciously allowed me to lower my dose to nearly nothing this fall, and now I have been off them since Thanksgiving....so far so good.

I have salvation and a the "know" of my eternal security
I have a new home
I have great jobs
I have an amazing husband
My friends are the real deal and I know I can count on them for anything (they may be few, but a few real is way better than tons who aren't)

"The Climb" By Miley Cyrus

Our New Condo

Here is a video of our new condo. I took the video Christmas morning, so things are out of place here and there and we have since added curtains. Enjoy your tour!

Homeowners!!!!

**Picture Taken at our Closing**
Ah Yes!! FINALLY!!!
It was a looooong process, and not to mention probably one of the most stressful seven weeks I have EVER experienced!!!! Tim and I are happy homeowners. It's nothing extravagant, in fact it is smaller than the apartment we were renting, but this is a place to call our own. It is so great to look at the big picture and see how God orchestrated this whole thing. We visited the idea of buying a condo over a year and a half ago, and we very well could have afforded it then too, but something was telling us to wait a little longer. I am SO glad that we did. We put the idea on hold until we found a place that fit our budget and needs...we were constantly checking out listings and keeping in touch with our realtor. Well, I started working for a family this fall and got wind that there was a condo in their building that was on the market. How perfect would that be, cut my commute time down to almost nothing. We didn't act right away, but I was visiting the listing online quite frequently to see if anyone else was biting at the offer. Eventually, I contacted our realtor and said "what about this one..." and her response was "this is perfect!" We made an offer only two days after seeing it and it was accepted only a couple days after that. Then, the journey of becoming homeowners began. It was bumpy at times, there were things that we just could not speed up and were at the mercy of the person on the other side of the phone line...waiting, waiting, waiting. Our scheduled closing day came and went. Our original closing date was supposed to be November 19th, but we didn't close until the 30th. And in that span of time I started a new job and we took a trip to South Carolina....it got crazy for a bit there. But it eventually happened and we now reside in, what I must say, is a beautiful location with a view that could take your breath away, in a quiet secluded neighborhood. And we have our OWN front door...with a doorbell!!!! Its a quaint town home style condo with a living room and kitchen downstairs, and two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. We have a corner unit so we have a couple extra windows and neighbors on only one side. We over look the river and can hear it rushing when we open the window or go outside...its very peaceful here. I am two minutes from work and a 30 second walk from the family I work for in the afternoon. I am so glad that we waited and did not rush into buying last year, God clearly had a plan and it so awesome to feel like we are in His will.

Two Years...New Pics

Understanding Circumstances

I am wide awake at 11pm...tomorrow is Monday, this is not good. My mind is racing with all sorts of things...work, relationships, trying to understand circumstances beyond my control. What do I do with these thoughts so that I can sleep soundly? Pray. And then pray some more. I am ashamed that there was a time that I was ashamed of my faith....afraid of what others thought of me---so stupid to even let my mind wander down that road. I am grateful for the God I serve and love. It is because of Him that I am blessed with so many great people, relationships, and circumstances. I can search for answers all I want, but I have to rely that God will see me through it all....good, bad, and ugly. I can't imagine a life without God....not quite sure how others do it. I had a great conversation this weekend sharing our awe of how God allows things to happen and brings us through it. He has a purpose for it all, even when we don't see it at that moment. The post below this one is a great story of how God plans every step I take--yes, I have a free will and am able to make my own decisions, but He guides me to where He wants me to be.
I just found this poem online...totally gonna frame it

When I Say "I Am A Christian"

by Carol Wimmer

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.

Reflections and Blessings

So the college thing has been quite the roller coaster. Still, at age 29, I have not been able to put my finger on what I want to study. Honestly, I am happy with the jobs that I have, both are fulfilling on so many levels. I am at a conference this weekend that is geared toward direct support professionals....that is the hat I wear from 2:30 in the afternoon until whenever. This is somewhat along the lines of what I have done working in the schools and with the respite care I have provided. I found this job merely as a fluke. When I was released from my duties at my other job, I was quite frantic about finding something else and quick since the school year was pretty close to starting. I found myself perusing the adds on craigslist--not something that I generally do, there are some weirdos out there and applying for a job on craigslist scared me a little. I found this posting for a direct support professional--what's that, I never heard of it before. As I read through the post I thought to myself that I could do something like this since it is not far off from being a 1:1 aide in the schools or the after school care I provided Kierstin for a few years. Anyway, I sent my resume and a response was almost immediate. I got a call for an interview!! Then, I got scared, or maybe I should say I got skeptical. There are some illegitimate offers on craigslist. Anxiety is just a natural part of my thought process so I had to figure out how to find out if this position and people were what was claimed. So I did what any one could do in that situation...I Googled! First I reversed phone looked up their number and made sure that it matched the address that was given me. (Ya know, as I am writing this, I am feeling somewhat like a psycho...ugh) Anyway, alright check to that one. Then I Googled the name of the woman I was meeting at her home in just a few short days. TONS of hits....this chick is a big deal. All I could really gather is that her line of work had something to do working with those who have disabilities. But then I came across a link to book that was published, and in that book contained writings of parents of children with disabilities. A full copy of the book was online. She had written a poem, a beautiful at that, about her son--I read that and I was sold! I was sobbing and a peace came over me that I knew that this was something that I had to do. Still scared to my core because I had not really worked with someone of this particular disability and this age....nothing comes easy I suppose. So I met my potential supervisor and her son. Just that one meeting left me feeling blessed that I was able to meet two amazing people, and even if I did not get the job they had already managed to leave a life long lasting impression.
Well, long story short....when I received the call that they chose to hire me, I was excited and touched. I immediately accepted it without even thinking about it. I was touched because essentially they were bringing me in as a part of their family.
ok...fast forward...there could be lines and lines of more sappy stuff, but I will spare my readers (if there are any out there).
So I am at this conference this weekend, and I think maybe, just maybe, I have found my true calling. As I said before, I have changed majors numerous times and have yet to find my niche. I have been telling myself the past few months that I am ok with not having a degree....I love what I do and a degree is not necessary. But what I have learned this weekend is that I want to better myself. So, maybe a few classes in the area of human service--maybe eventually even a degree.
This job has quickly become so much more than a job. I fell in love with it within a month and can see myself working for this family on a very long term basis...Lord willing. I know that God has a plan and I do need to be mindful of that. But to think how God allowed everything that happened this past summer with my jobs and lead me to the current situation that I am in....I could not be more happy and more thankful. I have always been someone who has compassion for those who cannot advocate for themselves or have a hard time doing so, and I have seen that passion grow by leaps and bounds the past few weeks. I can't say enough how blessed I am. I do not only have a great family to work for, but I believe that I have found life long friends....It's easy to love those who have hearts of gold. If life ends up taking us down different paths that are beyond our control, it will not be the end of a great friendship that is beginning to take shape.
So now what, I guess find some classes that fit into my schedule. I am not going to over do it. But oh how I would love to see some product from all these years of college classes.